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Zactonolak

[ website | david's unfinished webpage ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

friends-only privacy change [15 Oct 2006|11:34am]
i'm going to start doing the lj thing again, but this time i'm not going to post anything with security less than friends-only. if you want to be on my friends list, or want to know what i'm up to without an LJ account, just post a reply to this message or email me at david dot wyner at gmail dot com.
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hello world [25 Jun 2006|03:45pm]
[ mood | busy ]

i'm sorry for not reading your entries, if you're reading this one. i really want to--- i'm posting here because i miss you all. also, i am procrastinating something awful; i've got this final research project/test/presentation thing due tuesday for which i am not prepared and am starting a new class at UCLA tomorrow (monday) about which i know very little.

haven't updated this thing for so long i almost forgot that it existed. hope all of you out there are doing well. i need to start doing this again just to keep in touch will all of you online peoples; these sites are sort of necessary just for keeping in basic contact these days, it seems (at least for those like myself who hate answering machines and have a habit of not piking up their cell phones). i haven't even sent a letter to my grandmother in months--- she'll answer the phone, but refuses to get an email account (even though she was a secretary for decades and can type extremely well). i think today is her birthday, i need to call her. upon reflection i realized that neglect of livejournal was of similar ilk to her email weirdness; i have even less of an excuse, as i like dicking around with computers. but i'll be better now, i promise. at least i'll try to read friends pages of peoples... there are at least a half dozen of you out there that i sorely miss and have been (unintentionally?) neglecting. my bad.

in brief

i have been:

less depressed
dating miriam
neglecting my workouts and falling into the habit of eating late
gaining a bunch of weight which i'm hopefully going to get rid of soon through kung fu and weight training w/ saul, so that my pants will once again fit
learning tai chi (almost finished the yang short form. not very impressive, but i'm having fun with it, and i'm the star pupil among the nice middle aged ladies i've been training with = )
stressed over crazy summer classes, psych research methods then
starting UCLA summer classes... crazily compressed hebrew and a psychoanalysis class ... tomorrow?! i don't even know my schedule...
hopefully done with USC undergrad by the end of this summer

after that is sort of up in the air. i will probably become a social worker or schoolteacher or teach english somewhere or some combination of these. but i feel old--- 23, already! and i feel that i need to get out of school, at least for a little while.

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[07 Dec 2005|11:04am]
she asked me not to talk about it on livejournal, but things happened. i guess you guys will have to talk with me in some other way.
1 comment|post comment

[30 Nov 2005|07:31am]
[ mood | tired ]

miriam is glad i took her to the ER. she didn't want to go at first, even though she was in incredible pain. apparently she had a kidney infection. the doctors were surprised she was able to remain conscious through the pain. i'm not; i know she likes to run marathons and other similarly trying things. i've got no idea what this must have been like for her... i know she needed to go to the hospital.
hopefully, she'll get better now.

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[29 Nov 2005|12:04pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

my copy of Wingman, by Daniel Pinkwater, came in the mail today. such a beautiful book. it totally made my day.

miriam is sick. i hope she gets better.

2 comments|post comment

hello. [17 Nov 2005|09:30am]
it's been a while. lj looks different. anyone still reading this thing? please don't be offended if i haven't read your entries for, i don't know, years.
just curious... anyone still reading my lj?
12 comments|post comment

i is stupid. [28 Apr 2005|12:46pm]
The Ants and the Grasshopper

THE ANTS were spending a fine winter's day drying grain collected in the summertime. A Grasshopper, perishing with famine, passed by and earnestly begged for a little food. The Ants inquired of him, "Why did you not treasure up food during the summer?' He replied, "I had not leisure enough. I passed the days in singing." They then said in derision: "If you were foolish enough to sing all the summer, you must dance supperless to bed in the winter."

http://print.google.com/print?id=J8AytlgaE9MC&pg=1&lpg=1&prev=http://print.google.com/print%3Fq%3Dgrasshopper%26ie%3DUTF-8%26id%3DJ8AytlgaE9MC&sig=RPYfhudj6kCQeDLYOQBiA39EcH0
4 comments|post comment

[10 Dec 2004|03:08pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Rorschach red splatter on eggshell wall
dirty fingernails lisp over the errect nipple
he always sat alone.
Navaho weavers tend to leave holes in their tapestries.
a missing warp or woof so that no wandering spirit will be trapped within
Bound
to the material world, where it does not belong.
I’m not sure if I live inside my head
a homunculus pulling dollhouse switches and levers
jerking my strings around in a little ragtime dance,
or if every cell, skin flake, neuron, really is no more important than the next
and even tiptoe standing can’t perceive a finger pulling that sky wheel
the sheep says, "baa!’. maybe next spin.

this distracted me from the spiral bus ride, every day to work
thick, greasy air almost covers the earthy smell she’s really hot,
you see her sweat as he pierces her with his eyes
utopian ideals, mutualism, altruism, even kindness all blow out the window
It’s never really consensual, we can’t connect enough
i want to get off with her

doctors once drilled skull holes to let the crazy out
but in most circles providing one’s own ventilation is frowned upon. how quaint.
the weaver may cut the thread at any time
itchy veins pump under transparent skin
and blood of royal blue exposes to air crimson.

3 comments|post comment

it speaks truth! [02 Dec 2004|02:29pm]
      
tron is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
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stupid quiz. [18 Nov 2004|03:02am]
i apologize for the below meme. i've been having an interesting, good week. maybe i'll talk about it later. i really feel as though i shouldn't talk about it now. but it's been a good week. i sleep now.

</td><td valign="top">You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough. Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other.</td></tr>
You are 51% geek

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

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[14 Nov 2004|03:40am]
[ mood | happy ]

i went to see the LA philharmonic with a friend.
we had a good time.
i am happy.

1 comment|post comment

[09 Nov 2004|01:17pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

i think things might be turning around for me emotionally.
an interesting thing; girls don't seem to be turned off when i'm depressed, tho i generally am.
i've got issues with my neighbors now due to lack of communication with my roomate.
but--- i can use this as an excuse to not spend as much time in this room.
a good idea.

4 comments|post comment

[04 Nov 2004|03:45pm]
arafat is dead?
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[02 Nov 2004|06:25am]
whoa, that was... way too easy.
i just clicked the button and i'm not in the class anymore
a sense of... loss... sadness... i liked that class. i'm fascinated by the material... and i;ve been studying it for like, a day now.

oh.
i wonder what i'll think about all this when i wake up
what did semi-conscious david do again? drop the fucking class?!! four easy, fun units? what is wrong with that guy?

the only thing to do would be to learn from my mistakes.

in the future.... BE A GOOD STUDENT
even though there's no point to it
it's the only way i can feel good about myself
being a failure is less fun

i'm going to watch the sunrise, do form outside until some of this caffeine wears off
then nap
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[02 Nov 2004|06:11am]
[ mood | groggy ]

so i bought these caffeine pills, and i'm wired but so tired
art history exam at 11am, i haven't slept yet
so like... i'm going to drop my art history class.
it's such a shame... my thinking in signing up for this class was something along the lines of, i don't need to take this class but i promised myself that i would take an art history class in college, oooh, an easy A, help out my GPA....
yet i've fucked it up tremendously, not turning in my second paper, midterm tomorrow
oh, and yeah, i fucked up the first midterm too
most of the material being entirely new to me as i have not been attending class
why haven't i been going to class?
i don't know
it would have been so easy to just go to class
and then i'd just know all this stuff
i've been studying damn hard for the last... oh, 8 hrs or so... but i still haven't done all the work, don't understand all the material i'd need to pass the test
so strange

heh, i know, it's because i was all suicidal and shit.
it's so weird
right now i feel like i could just study all the time--- and i'm not depressed or anything

i think i only get depressed when i'm NOT doing my work
actually doing it, even failing, isn't nearly as bad

i wish things were different, but in all honesty, this makes a lot of sense
i haven't actually attended most of the lectures--- nor have i read the readings, until the night before the exam... how could i hope to just know all the material?
at this point i cannot make a grade high enough to make this class worthwhile.

if i'd only snapped out of it a few days ago, done my work ON TIME
what is wrong with me?

at least i've got enough hebrew and stats work to occupy my time for the rest of this semester... sigh.

1 comment|post comment

[30 Oct 2004|06:59pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

so i felt like hurting myself but decided on nothing too extreme.
at some level, i realize that this funk is only temporary, although it is proving quite a challenge to overcome.
as a compromise, i'm smoking way too many of these awesome black clove cigarettes.
cloves
they're kinda pretentious-looking but much fun.

1 comment|post comment

[26 Oct 2004|10:00pm]
[ mood | tired ]

kind of interesting. i've never thought of myself as obsessive-compulsive, though it's certainly possible.


DisorderRating
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Moderate
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Moderate
Narcissistic:Low
Avoidant:Moderate
Dependent:Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

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[24 Oct 2004|02:11pm]
another annoying/cool internet thing.
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?Collapse )
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[23 Oct 2004|05:37pm]
i know, these things tend to annoy me too, but i just couldn't resist this one.
it's a US terror-alert meter that's simpsons themed. very classy.

Terror Alert Level
2 comments|post comment

[21 Oct 2004|09:49am]
let me know if you're interested in a beta-test account with gmail, google's new email service. you get 1000mb of space, very neat. i might still have an invitation or two left.
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