so i bought these caffeine pills, and i'm wired but so tired
art history exam at 11am, i haven't slept yet
so like... i'm going to drop my art history class.
it's such a shame... my thinking in signing up for this class was something along the lines of, i don't need to take this class but i promised myself that i would take an art history class in college, oooh, an easy A, help out my GPA....
yet i've fucked it up tremendously, not turning in my second paper, midterm tomorrow
oh, and yeah, i fucked up the first midterm too
most of the material being entirely new to me as i have not been attending class
why haven't i been going to class?
i don't know
it would have been so easy to just go to class
and then i'd just know all this stuff
i've been studying damn hard for the last... oh, 8 hrs or so... but i still haven't done all the work, don't understand all the material i'd need to pass the test
heh, i know, it's because i was all suicidal and shit.
it's so weird
right now i feel like i could just study all the time--- and i'm not depressed or anything
i think i only get depressed when i'm NOT doing my work
actually doing it, even failing, isn't nearly as bad
i wish things were different, but in all honesty, this makes a lot of sense
i haven't actually attended most of the lectures--- nor have i read the readings, until the night before the exam... how could i hope to just know all the material?
at this point i cannot make a grade high enough to make this class worthwhile.
if i'd only snapped out of it a few days ago, done my work ON TIME
what is wrong with me?
at least i've got enough hebrew and stats work to occupy my time for the rest of this semester... sigh.